In Reality
by StayGold4ever
Summary: Ponyboy and his brothers struggle to form a new family after their parent's death. Things are happening so fast, and Pony can't prevent them. But when something horrible happens, he can. MY FIRST FANFIC! PLEASE READ!
1. Chapter 1

**In Reality**

**I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO S.E. HINTON!**

**Authors note: Hey guys! After many blood, sweat, and tears( not really!), I managed to finally post this story. This is my first fanfic! Please review, and when you do, don`t be afraid to be honest. If you thought it was horrible, than tell me, cause if you`re not honest than how will I improve? Anyway, ENJOY!**

** Chapter 1: In a Heartbeat...**

They say that you can go from childhood to adulthood in an instant, and it's true. i have a ton of experience with that. Oh, by the way, my name's Ponyboy. Ponyboy Curtis. Yeah, i know. But it`s my real name. Honest. It even says so on my birth certificate. My dad named me. You can guess from this that he`s an original person, and it`s true. At least he was. He`s gone now, which brings me back to this whole crazy growing up thing.

It all started on a cold, stormy, wet Wednesday night in mid-October. It was October 17th, to be specific. It was also my parent`s anniversary. They were going out for dinner that night and that one simple dinner changed our lives forever. I was curled up in the armchair, reading my tattered copy of _Moby Dick_ for the tenth time. The book was falling apart, but I still loved it, and I could say the same thing about the armchair. Actually, that`s a bit of an understatment, it fell apart a long time ago. No one knows exactly where the chair came from, but it's been in our house as long as we can remember. Nobody has touched it, let alone sat in it, except for me, and with good reason. The fabric, if you can call it that, is an ugly faded green color with faded yellow spots. There are like a million threads coming out of it, and it's so thin that it might as well be paper. There is no cushioning whatsoever, it's just a wooden chair with fabric. It's filthy, too, so if anyone happens to touch it, they make a big deal out of it and run off to wash their hands. I don's know why someone hasn't gotten rid of it by now, but I guess they just don't have the heart to do that to me, cause I love that old chair, for no good reason.

Anyway, my parents were standing at the door, doing all those last-minute things. Mom looked beautiful. She was wearing her only nice dress, a long, black, lacy one with a black bow that tied at the waise. Her long, wavy hair fell in golden ripples down her back. Her brown eyes danced with a spark of life in them. Even if we're poor, we can still look nice if we want to. Dad looked good too, wearing a nice button down shirt with a tie. It looked good, even if the tie was a little shabby. Dad looks a lot like Darry, my oldest brother, _they_ could be brothers. Dad is tall and strong, with dark brown hair and tan skin, probably from being out in the sun a lot- he roofs houses for a living. His eyes are different from Darry`s though, they`re a rich, deep blue. My mom's personality is just like her looks` gold, beautiful, and full of life. Dad is a real logical guy, but he has the same dash and charm as my older brother, Sodapop (dad named him too, if you couldn`t tell.) Darry lucked out, he`s the only one of us with a normal name. I don`t care though, I like my name.

Darry was standing at the front door to see them off.

"Thanks for watching the boys tonight Darry, we really appriciate it," said mom.

"No problem," said Darry, messing up my hair. I flattened it out again, ignoring his smug grin. (He`d better hang on to it, cause trust me, we wouldn`t be seeing that grin for a long time.)

Mom came over to the chair. "Bye Pony," she said, kissing my forehead and being careful not to touch the chair, "love you."

"Love you, too." I replied. Now I wish I said a better goodbye, seeing as it was our last one.

"Soda!" dad called, "We're leaving now, come here for a sec!"

My sixteen-year old brother, Sodfa, came clamoring down the hallway, stubbing his toe on the coffee table as he ran. I had to laugh at him, he`s so reckless. Soda is my favorite person ever. He's kind and understanding, and he listens to me no matter what. He`s always sympathetic and he understands everyone. He`s the perfect definition on a kid at heart. He seems like he never has a care in the world. Back then, none of us did.

**Authir`s note: Okay that`s chapter one! Did you guys like it? Please review! I`ll update ASAP- I hate when people make you wait so I won`t do that to you! Thanks! Stay Gold! -Emily :) :)**


	2. In Reality, Chapter 2

**In Reality: Chapter 2- Brotherly Bond**

**Author's Note: Here's chapter 2! I didn't really plan for it to be about the gang, but i felt like there needed to be some sort if explanation. Dont worry though, the bext chapter will go back to the story, and with a little luck it should be posted by review and leave suggestions if you want. ENJOY!**

Finally, mom and dad left, their cautious cries to be careful and keep out of trouble ringing in our ears. I swear, their waiting for the day to get a call from juvie, to inform them that we're cold-hearted delinquents and they need to come confirm our mug shots. They don't really think that, of course, but their just so_ cautious_, all the time. I guess you have to be, though, growing up in our neighborhood. The three of us stay out of trouble for the most part; if we're ever in trouble, then it's usually because of the gang ( I'll explain them in a minute.) Like the time we beat the crap out of Tim Shepard's gang, that was Dally's idea. Oh well, at least we didn't get jailed, cause mom and dad would have flipped.

While we're on the topic, I'll explain the gang. It consists of the three of us: Darry, Soda, and I, than Two-Bit Matthews, Steve Randle, Johnny Cade, and Dally Winston. We've grown up with these guys and I consider them brothers. Two-Bit. What can I say, he's totally out of his mind. He's 18 1/2, and he's still a junior in high school. Probably cause he can't shut up for five seconds, which causes lack of attention in class. He's hilarious, keeps us entertained, and has a strange obsession with Mickey Mouse. Every morning, without fail, you can find him sprawled on our living room floor, stuffing his face with _our _chocolate cake and beer, and laughing his head off at a Mickey rerun that he's seen a million times.

Next is Steve. He's been inseparable with Sodapop ever since their first day of nursery school, when they shared a fascination with the same red matchbox car and got in a fistfight over it. Man, I wished I could have seen it, the way mom describes it, it sounds hilarious. Steve is an expert at cars, and he works part-time at the DX gas station. He doesn't like me though, he always says I hang around him and Soda too much when the go places. This is all find by me cause sometimes I don't like him either.

Johnny Cade (JohnnyCakes) is next. He's my best friend. He's the youngest, next to me, even though he's two years older. He's very nervous and jumpy, because his parents abuse him. Sometimes I feel like marching right on down to his house and giving them a piece of my mind, but it's too dangerous- they're always drunk. Johnny always listens to me and aside from Sodapop, he's the only one who understands me. We tell each other everything, and I don't know what I'd do without him.

Last is Dallas, who we call Dally. If you swing by Tulsa's police station and ask for JMW (Juvie's Most Wanted), they'll be a big picture of Dally. He's been arrested for anything and everything that you can think of. He spent three years living on the rough streets of New York City, and he's hardened himself beyond caring. He has a soft spot for Johnny, though.

So there you have it. That's our gang. We'd do anything for each other, and though we're not related, we have a brotherly bond.

**Author's Note: Sorry, I know it's short. I didn't really planfort this to be a chapter, but I included it anyway. I'll probably have chapter 3 posted tonight, too! Please review, thanks, and Stay Gold! -Emily ;) ;)**

**I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO S.E. HINTON!**


	3. In Reality, Chapter 3

In** Reality, Chapter 3: Jolt of Reality**

**Author's Note: Hey! Here's chapter 3 - and next chapter I'll start changing perspectives! Review and ENJOY!**

The evening went by pretty good after mom and dad left. I read a couple more chapters of _Moby Dick, _and I would have read more, but Darry made me finish my homework first. I had done all of it except for math, which I had purposely saved for last, because it's my worst subject. I did terrible on it, but Darry checked it over, made me redo them and then I was done. We had chicken for dinner, and then Soda and I horsed around in the living room, wrestling, until Darry told us to knock it off. We did, then he proceeded to come into the living room and tackled us until we begged for him to stop (he used to be kind of fun. I miss that.) After that, Soda went off to take a shower, and I lay down on the couch, waiting for mom and dad to get back. I was really tired, and I started falling into one of those heavy, sleepy, dozes. I was almost completely out of it when Darry's voice broke into my head, jerking me out of my doze,

"Pony, come on, you need to get to bed."

"Come on Darry, I ain't tired. Besides, I want to hear how their dinner went.

"You can hear about it in the morning. You have school tomorrow.

"You have work." (Darry was going to start college at the Universety of Tulsa next semester, but until then he had a part time job roofing houses with dad.)

He gave me one of his "looks." "Fine, I'll go to bed," I said. "But if you wait up you're going to be really tired in the morning!"

He laughed. "Nice try, kiddo, night."

"Night"

I said night to Soda,then went to my room, yanked off my t-shirt, curled up, and tried to go to sleep. I have a lot of trouble sleeping at night, so if I'm not able to sneak a couple of aspirins, I review my day in my head in excruciatingly boring detail. It usually wears me out and then I can sleep. It worked tonight. I fell asleep in about 15 minutes.

I was fast asleep when the doorbell rang, jarring me out of my peaceful sleep. I tried to go back to sleep, but then my parents started knocking persistently at the door, I assumed it was my parents, who else could it be? I slowly swung myself out of bed and stumbled down the hall, squinting in the bright light. I glanced at the clock as I passed it, then did a double take. 3 o'clock in the morning? What on earth were mom and dad doing, getting home so late? _"Wait, I _thought, _"Mom and dad wouldn't knock, the door's always unlocked. And if not, they have a key."_ I'll just see who it is than, I thought, then I realized that I was wearing nothing but underwear. Well, too bad, if the person doesn't want to see me in my boxers then it's their fault for coming here at 3 in the morning anyway!

I entered the living room to find a disoriented and rather grumpy Darry opening the door, muttering to himself about the rudeness of strangers these days.

The door swung open to reveal a cop with a serious expression on his face. _"Oh my God," I thought, " What in the world happened?"_

**Author's Note: Cliffhanger! Don't worry, I won't keep you waiting too long! Please review, and Stay Gold! -Emily;) :)**

** I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO S.E. HINTON**


	4. In Reality, Chapter 4

DON'T** OWN THE OUTSIDERS! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO S.E. HINTON!**

**TheWeirdoOutsidersYourBedroom: First, thanks for being my first reviewer! I really appreciate your feedback. Also, I realize that chapter 2 was a mistake, I didn't need to explain the gang. Oh well, live and learn ;)**

**MetroHarbor: Omg u read my story! Ok I know that sounds wrong but you're my favorite author ever! I love your stories! This totally made my day! Thanks! Also, it's ok I'm just glad I could figure out the whole computer thing, I'm pretty bad with technology too ;)**

**Hey! I can post a lot today cause in home sick from school :( i normally wouldn't mind, but i had a chorus concert tonight and i was looking forward to it! All right, enough with my life drama and back to Ponyboy's! Review please! ENJOY!**

**In Reality, Chapter 4: Catch me**

The cop stood there illuminated by the porch light. A horrible knot was building in my stomach. My parents... was it them in trouble? Maybe one of the gang? The fuzz came over once when Dally got in the cooler for six months for "accidently" jumping a cop. Yeah that was probably it... Darry's voice broke into my thoughts for the second time that night,

"Yes sir, I'm Darrel Jr., please come in."

He moved aside and the first cop came in, revealing a second one behind him. The first one was real short, and kinda large, too, and in spite of the tenseness and my worry, I had to choke back a laugh. Imagine that guy trying to catch someone! I had a horrible mental image of him running, stubby legs moving, shirt coming unbuttoned. I shuddered, and shook myself back to reality. The second guy was obviously the younger of the two, he was tall, thin, and still had a pretty decent amount of thick, dark hair left on him, unlike the other guy.

Sodapop came down the hallway, still half asleep. "What is this, a pajama party?" He then noticed the fuzz and gave a gasp, the blood draining from his face.

"No son," the old cop said gently, "I'm Officer Tanner, and this here is Officer Cahill. What are your names?"

Now I was starting to get annoyed. He probably already knew our names, he wouldn't come here if he didn't, and he was obviously stalling for time. I was so nervous that I was practically bawling, I was going to start if he didn't get to the point soon! I think Soda sensed this because he said,

"Sorry Officer, if this sounds rude, but can you please explain to us what the heck you're doing in our living room at three in the morning?

Darry nudged him and hissed "Don't be rude!"

Officer Cahill chuckled dryly, but it sounded empty, fake, unnatural. Then he got serious.

"Your parents are Margret and Darrel Curtis, right?"

"Yes."

"All right, I'm afraid we have some bad news for you," Officer Tanner said quickly, like he wanted to get it over with. "There was an accident at the railroads tonight, a problem with the crossguards. Their car was hit at full speed."

_Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, this can't be happening. _My breathing was getting shallow and shaky, and I was starting to completely panic. Soda grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly, his face deathly white.

Darry sucked in a big breath, "Are they okay?" We knew the answer, but there was comfort in the fact that we could still ask.

"No."

"What do you mean?" I was surprised to hear myself talk. My voice sounded weird, even to me.

"They didn't make it, son." Officer Cahill was whispering by now. "I'm so sorry."

_This isn't real. My parents have always been there to catch me, but now I'm falling._

**How was that? I hoped you liked it, and I'll probably be able to post at least two more chapters cause no ones home and I'm going to use the computer! It might take a few hours, though, cause I might take a nap! Anyway, I hope you liked it, please review, and Stay Gold! -Emily ;) :)**


	5. In Reality, Chapter 5

DON'T** OWN THE OUTSIDERS! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO S.E. HINTON!**

**Author`s Note: I'm feeling better, maybe i can convince my mom to let me go to the concert tonight! Anyway, here`s chapter 5. ENJOY!**

**In Reality, Chapter 5: Numb**

_"Sorry, Son, they didn't make it."_ The words echoed through my mind, bouncing of the empty chambers of my brain. I was in total disbelief. My parents couldn`t be dead, they were too young, heck _I_ was too young. How does a thirteen-year old kid get by without his parents? Oh my God, they were dead, _dead._ I sat there, seeing the world through new eyes. Darry, eyes shut tight, a helpless, pleading expression on his face. Soda, tears forming in his eyes, dripping onto the carpet. The cops were standing there akwardly, unsure of what to do. Everything seemed unreal, hazy, like a dream. I didn't know I was crying until I felt the sobs start up deep inside me. Suddenly, reality hit me like a slap in the face. My parents were dead! Gone! I was never going to see them again! Hysterics took me over. I didn't know that I was running until I was at the door to my room. I opened it without hesitatian and flung myself onto my bed, sobbing myself dry. Dead. _Dead._

**Soda's POV**

The room was spinning in dizzying circles around me. I couldn't process this, I just couldn't. The only way to escape this horrifying reality was to deny it. They wern't dead. I'm going to wake up in a minute and mom will be cooking eggs for breakfast. Dad will be reading the paper and be drinking black coffee. I'll go into Pony's room and tickle him till he gets out of bed, then the gang will come and we'll all play football. That's my life, it can't be changing. It is.

_Flashback for Soda: It was the first day of kindergarten and I had been there for about five minutes when Mrs. Hincheff stalked over. She shoved a piece of paper and two pencils in front of everyone and told us to copy the alphabet five times. WE were stunned. In kindergarten? I didn't know even half of my letters._

_"Well? What are you waiting for? Get started!" she barked. Complaints of "I don't know all my letters!" and "Mrs. Hincheff? How do you make a G?" were flying through the room. I was so confused. I thought school was supposed to be fun. Mrs. Hincheff walked to the front of the class._

_"Welcome to school, kids." she said in a gravelly voice. "Welcome to reality." End flashback._

Something told me that this reality would be a lot harder than kindergarten. How would we pay the bills? I would have to get a job! Would Darry go to college? Would Pony and I get sent to a boys home? Pony. How would I protect him? He's my baby brother, it's my job to protect him. I glanced up and saw him running to his room. I could hear him sobbing. I ran after him, tears streaming down my own cheeks. I sat down on his bed, hugging him, rocking him, comforting him, until his sobs reduced to sniffles. We sat there quietly until Darry came in.

**Darry's POV**

Dead. Oh, my God. This kind of stuff only happens to other people. I put my head in my hands, feeling helpless. I'm the oldest in the family now. Oh, God. I can't raise a family! I'm not even 20 yet! I'm still a kid myself! I'm supposed to go to college, live my life. My parents... they meant the world to me. My dad.. what will I do without him? He taught me everything I know. How can I do this? I'm not responsible! I'm not ready for this! I wasn't planning on raising a family for years! Oh, my God... I`ll have to get custody of Pony and Soda, I can't loose them, too. What am I going to do? Pony's starting his terrible teen years, I shouldn't have to deal with this stuff. How am I going to keep Soda out of trouble. I'll have to work full time. What am I going to do?

I looked up to see Pony running to his room, sobbing, Soda running after him, also crying. The fuzz got to their feet.

"Someone from the state will come by tomorrow, around two, to sort this all out and discuss custody of your brothers, or would you prefer for them to be put in a boy's home?"

"I'll take custody of them," I said automatically. _No! You can't! You've got college! Yo've got a life to live! You can't let your brothers down, you idiot! But you can't stay, either! _I shook my head, trying to clear out the thoughts.

"Ok we've got to run now. I'm so sorry, son," said Officer Tanner, clapping my shoulder. Officer Cahill nodded in agreement, and they left.

_"No!" _I felt like yelling after them. _"You can't leave, I'm just a kid! I just barely graduated! What am I going to do? Help!"_

I knew what I needed to do. I needed to take care of my brothers. Sighing, I walked to Pony's room. I wanted to cry, I needed to. But I had to be strong for them. I opened the door. Pony was curled up against Soda, sniffling. Soda had stopped crying, but when he saw me, he looked as though he might start up again. I sat down on the bed next to them. Pony looked up at me, his green-grey eyes filled with misery.

"Hey," I said quietly, "Everything's going to be okay." I sat there hugging both of them for a long time. No one moved or said anything. Finally, I glanced at the clock. 4:15 in the morning! Glory, it was late. We needed sleep if we were going to be ready for the meeting with the state tomorrow.

"Hey guys?" I said gently, "We need to sleep, we've got a meeeting with the state tomorrow." Pony sat up.

"Are you going to send us to a boy's home?" he whimpered. My heart broke. How could I send them away? How could he think that?

"No, no, not at all," I assured him. "We're a family. We're going to stay together." I finally got them off to bed, then went to my own room and layed down. I sighed, overcome with the weight of responsibilty.

I wanted my parents.

**Ponyboy's POV**

After Darry sent us to bed, I lay down and tried to sleep. I really did. But how could I sleep after what I was just told? How could _anyone _sleep after hearing that? I thought of my parents and imediatly, my eyes started burning. _"No,"_ I told myself firmly. _"You're not going to start crying again, you've done enough of that for one night."_ I was scared, I felt so vulnerable, and I wanted my parents. I slid out of bed, and went to Darry's room. His eyes were closed, but I could tell he was awake. I always can.

"Darry?" I whispered. "I can't sleep."

He rolled over. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

His face changed. He looked younger then 19, almost 20. "Want to sleep in here tonight?"

I nodded. He made some room for me, and I curled up next to him. Five minutes later, Soda came in.

"Darry?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Pony in here? He wasn't in his room."

"Yeah, he's here, do you want to sleep here tonight?"

He didn't even answer, just crawled in next to me. I felt safer that way, between my brothers. I knew that as long as I had them, everything was going to be all right.

**Soda's POV**

I wanted my little brother. I knew he was hurting, and I needed to protect him. At least that was what I told myself. Actually, strange, as it sounds, Ponyboy was as much as a comfort to me as I was to him. I quietly opened the door to his room, but he wasn't there. Worry shot through me before I started thinking clearly and went to Darry's room. Sure enough, Pony was in there. Darry offered to let me sleep in there with them and I readily agreeded. Strangley enough, I think in my heart, that's the real reason I went in there in the first place.

**Darry's POV**

I'm falling of the side of the bed, but I don't care. For some reason, I feel safer with them in here. I think they do, too.

**Author's Note: Wow! I think that's my longest chapter! It was actually a lot of fun to write, I liked showing a move vulnerable side of Darry!Hmmm, should i continue? I've only gotten two reviews... please review! It motivates me to post faster! Stay Gold! -Emily :) ;)**


	6. In Reality, Chapter 6

DON'T** OWN THE OUTSIDERS! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO S.E. HINTON**

**Author's Note: Hey guys, I need your help with something. Ok, I'm never able to log in because the my account thing always pops up after I log in. You know, the one where it says an option, then has a yes/no thing next to it. Then, when I hit go to get to my account, it just stays on that page. The only reason I'm able to get to this page to write this is because I bookmarked it on my iPod. So, please answer in a review or PM me. Ok, that's it, ENJOY!**

**Retro Soul: thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate it! You have excellent advice, and I do realize my mistakes, I'll try my best to fix them. I've never been very good at writing, in fact I hate it unless I'm writing about something I love- The Outsiders! So keep giving me advice, guys and I'll try to improve!**

**Ashley: Thanks, I'm glad you like the story. Also, I too, have read the book and seen the movie countless times and I still bawl my eyes out every time Johnny dies. ;)**

**In Reality, Chapter 6: Now What?**

**Darry's POV**

I was fast asleep when an obnoxious blaring noise interrupted my blissful sleep. I jerked straight up, tangling the blankets. After a couple of frantic seconds, I realized it was just my alarm clock. I turned it off. I don't remember turning it on last night, I must have before... The events of last night came washing over me like some terrible tsunami. I had been childishly hope that this was just a dream, but I knew that wasn't the case. I glanced down at my sleeping brothers. Soda's arm was draped protectivley across Ponyboy. I decided not to wake them up now, It would be a couple hours before the state came. I walked out of my room, down the hallway to the kitchen. I felt like a zombie,completely empty and drained. "_Why aren't I sad, or angry, or worried?" _I thought. Then I knew. I was in my denial stage. Whenever something like this happens, I'm always calm and cool about it, and then at some random, unexpected time, I'll have a huge breakdown. I just pray that it doesn't happen in public. I looked down at my hands and realized I was holding 3 eggs. I guess I took them out of the refrigerator without noticing. I sighed and started to make breakfast. That's what parents do, right? I was absorbed in my thoughts when I heard footsteps coming down the hallway and Soda's voice, "Darry?"

**Soda's POV**

I don't know what caused me to wake up so suddenly, but all I know is that I suddenly say upright in bed, totally awake. I was completely overcome with sadness, I guess it's true when they say that you don't understand grieving until you've started it. I could feel the grief threatening to choke me, weighing down on my lungs. I hate this, I'm always so happy-go-lucky, I wish I could just grin and make all this go away. I thought of my parents, and a couple of tears slid down my cheeks. I just couldn't explain this, how could my parents be dead,_ dead._ I had just seen them yesterday, not even 24 hours ago, and yet they seemed light years away. Who knows what heaven's like, were they watching over us now? I liked to think so. _"Don't worry," I thought. "I'm going to make you proud." _In that one glorious moment, I felt happy, _proud,_ that I was happy, because I know that's what my parents would have wanted. Suddenly, I shook myself. What am I doing? _"You got to pull yourself together, man!" I thought. "Just stop thinking like this, you can't be happy, your parents are dead." _Ughh, I'm just so mixed up. I'm a wreck. I'm probably going to be all happy and laughing one minute, then I'll start bawling, then I'll get all crazy and throw a lamp, than I'll just get all quiet and depressed. Man, I hate this. Then, I realized that Darry wasn't there. I knew Pony was, my arm was still draped around him. I looked down at him and instantley felt protective. It's a natural instinct, he's my baby brother, I just loved him so much. I smoothed his hair, disentangled myself, and got up. I walked down to the kitchen, hearing someone rustling around in it.

"Darry?"

**Darry's POV**

Soda stood in the doorway, looking a little worse for the wear. Okay, maybe a little more than a little. He was wearing a baggy t-shirt and pajama pants. His eyes were red a swollen, and his hair was a mess. I gave him a weak grin.

"Hey, little buddy. How you feeling?" He gave me a look that plainly said, "How do you think I feel?"

"Dumb question?"

"Oh no," he said, very sarcastically, "I'm just dandy, despite the fact that are parents are dead." Then he caught himself.

"Sorry, Dar. I just don't know what to do."

I scrubbed at my forehead. "Shoot, none of us do. I got to start working full time, get you and Pony back on track, pay bills, talk to the state, we got a meeting with them this afternoon." I started talking faster, rambling, wanting to get everything off my chest. Who knows what I was saying by then? I usually end up confiding my problems to Sodapop, if not to my parents, but since I can't exactally do that now, I guess that leaves him. Soon, more than just words were coming out, tears were, too. I was sobbing hysterically now. I was having that big breakdown. I just put my head down on the table, still sobbing.

"I can't do this, Soda, I just can't, I'm still just a kid."

He understood. He usually does. He just comforted me, saying, "I know, Dar, you can't be Superman all the time. I finally calmed down.

"Sorry, Soda, this should be the other way around."

He shrugged. "It's fine."

We started making breakfast together silently, lost in our own thoughts. I was about to ask him if Ponyboy had been awake when he got up, but the screen door slammed and a loud voice echoed through the house.

"MORNING, CURTIS'S! COME ON, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!"

I moaned and buried my face in my hands._ " Oh, S***. I can't deal with this. Not now. Not today._

__**Author's Note: Sorry, it's been a couple days. My insane teachers decided to start piling on the homework. :( I'll update as often as I can! Reviews make me happy! Also, here's a question for you guys: Who is your favorite charecter and why? Answer in the reviews, please. Ok, that's it. Thanks, Stay Gold! -Emily:) ;)**


	7. In Reality, Chapter 7

**I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS! If I DUD, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOONNNGG AGO! ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE WONDERFUL S.E. HINTON!**

**Author's Note: I apologize a million times! I was really busy with schoolwork, dance, piano, and a ton of other stuff! Then, fanfic removed my story, so I submitted it as a new story, which means I lost all my reviews :( Thank you for the reviews, I appreciate them!**

**Bell Star: Thank you, "nice reviewer ;)" You are so nice, I really appreciate it! I will try to update as often as possible. I'm awfully busy,but I try. If I go for a couple weeks without updating, it means that either fanfic removed my story, I'm somewhere without Internet connection, or something terrible happened. Hopefully, none of these happen! Anyway, thanks!**

**MetroHarbor: Thanks, for reviewing! And it's ok that you haven't updated in a while, I know how busy it can get! ;)**

**Without further ado, I present chapter 7. ENJOY!**

In Reality, Chapter 7: Laying Out The Future

**Pony's POV**

I woke up slowly, gently, which was weird. After all the craziness of last night, I expected to be a wreck. Strange as it is, I felt calm. My parents were dead. But I felt responsible for all the stress that was to come. I was the baby of the family, and I had always been treated like that. I knew there would be a fight for custody, I ain't stupid, I knew what could happen. Boy's home's. But Darry wouldn't let that happen.. or would he? _"Don't be stupid," said the voice in my head, "Darry wants you, he wouldn't give you up." _But who would give up college, football, a lifetime of glory, to take care of a couple of kids? I mean, I could see how he wanted to keep Soda, everyone does, but what was so special about me? Was I worth it? This was only the beginning of a long road of doubt and worry.

Anyway, I just lay there feeling hollow, unsure of what to do. I wasn't ready to go face my brothers yet. I was pondering what to say to them, what to do, how to act, when an obnoxious voice blared through the house,

"MORNING, CURTIS'S! COME ON, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!"

Oh, lord. That voice could only belong to one person. One crazy, poker-playing, Elvis-loving, Mickey-obsessed, person with overgrown sideburns. I felt like crying. In fact, I was. The gang. I had forgotten about them, and about everyone else I knew. I hadn't even thought about having to tell people what happened. I was a complete idiot. The gang would be crushed, I would not add to the tension by coming in and bawling my eyes out. I could here Darry, using his serious voice, telling them to sit down. Oh, there was _no _way I was going back out there.

**SODA'S POV **

I did _not _want to be here to here this. Saying it would make it official. I wasn't ready for official yet. I was about to make a run for it when the whole gang came streaming into the living room. Two-Bit bounded in, flicked on the T.V., and started squealing like a child as Mickey Mouse's face lit up the screen. Dally leaned against the wall, nodded at Darry and I, and carried on with smoking his cigarette. Steve playfully punched my shoulder and said,

"Hey man, come on, we're gonna be late for work!" Work. What a joke. Darry's face was draining of all color, debating how to tell them the news, cause I sure as h*** wasn't going to. Only Johnny seemed to sense that something was wrong.

"Hey guys, is everything alright? Where's Pony?" his soft-spoken voice sounded so concerned that it got Dally and Steve's attention, too. Only Two-Bit was still oblivious, laughing like a maniac at Mickey.

"Two-Bit, turn that thing off and listen. We gotta talk to you guys." I had to hand it to him. He sounded so calm.

_"Sorry, Darry, can't help you out there," I thought. _I slipped out of the room, unnoticed by anyone. They were all looking intently at Darry. I headed down to Darry's room, and opened the door slowly. Pony was lying awake in bed, his eyes dull and helpless.

"Soda," he whispered, "Is Darry telling them?"

"Yeah, Pone, he sure is." I crawled into bed next to him. He sighed, leaned his head against mine, and we just sat there. I guess we both just felt empty. We stayed there until we heard the tone of the voices change. I cringed. I knew this was coming, but we couldn't hide. We had to get up and face reality.

"Come on, Pony, we gotta go out there."

**DARRY'S POV**

D***. This was going to be harder than I thought. The entire gang was watching me intently, waiting for me to speak. _What do I do now, Dad? _I tell them, that's all I could do. I took a deep breathe, squared my shoulders, and started talking, sounding calmer than I felt.

"Guys, there was an accident last night on the railroads, a problem with the cross rails. Their car was hit by a train at full speed. I was whispering by now. So much for being Superman.

"Whose car, Dar?" Two-Bit asked softly. I think Johnny knew, he was pale and trembling. He had been so close to Mom and Dad...

"Mom and Dad's. They died on impact, they didn't suffer." I just wished that the pain in my chest would go away, but it was eating my insides.

"Jessus Christ!" said Dally. He had always been tight with Mom. He looked stunned. " I'm so sorry, man, what can we do. I was silent, I didn't know. They could comfort us, but they couldn't pay bills, help with custody, work, any of this.

"Just help Pony and Soda, they're taking it rough." They all nodded, Two-Bit looked stony-faced and bleak, Steve's face was red, trying to comprehend it, Johnny was silently crying by now, Dally was stunned. At that moment, Soda and Ponyboy came down the hall. Soda immediately went to Steve, tears streaming down his cheeks, Steve just put his hands on his shoulders and started comforting him. Pony stood there in the doorway, so fragile and innocent, trembling as tears swam in his eyes. Johnny walked over to him and cautiously touched his shoulder. Pony's lower lip trembled, then he collapsed, sobbing, into Johnny's shoulder. Johnny started sobbing too, and they just stood there crying for an eternity. It was awful. I should have gone over and comforted them, but I couldn't move. Dally went over and started comforting them, he had always had a soft spot for the two of them. Steve was talking quietly with Sodapop, who was silent now except for the occasional sniffle. Two-Bit put a hand on my shoulder. I had always been tight with him, maybe cause we're closest in age.

"Hey man, you okay? I mean it, what can I do for _you?"_ Two-Bit looked concerned, he's a good buddy to have.

"Just help us get through this," I said, and that's the truth. Then it was silent, everyone was, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

**PONY'S POV**

I could tell you about everything: the meeting with the state, the sympathy cards, Darry getting a full-time job, the funeral arrangements, identifying the bodies, everything, but it didn't seem important. All that mattered was that the funeral was on Friday, at 10:30, and it was Friday 9:30.

**Author's note: Pray for everyone in the tornadoes last night. My state (Virginia) was hit by a few last night, thankfully my town wasen't, but places like 5-10 minutes away from my house were. Kay, that's it! I hoped you guys enjoyed it, I liked writing it! The funeral is coming up next. Reviews are appreciated! Thanks, Stay Gold! ;) - Emily :) ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS! ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE WONDERFUL S.E. Hinton! IF I OWNED IT, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SEQUEL LOOOONNNGGG AGO! **

**Author's Note: Hello! I hope everyone had an excellent weekend! Only two more weeks of school left! YAAAYY! Please review. I'm not updating as often cause I'm not motivated. Thanks Metro Harbor and Bell Star, but for the rest of you readers, please review! I've only got 2 and there's eight chapters! Pllleeaaaseee review! ;) Also, i know that some of the charecters seem out of charecter, but remember, everyone greives in different ways. ENJOY!**

Reality, Chapter 8: The Funeral

**PONY'S POV:**

I sighed deeply, tracing the outline of the rickety wooden pews with my fingers. It was only 15 minutes till the funeral started. I should be at the front of the church, greeting people with Darry and Soda, but I didn't have the heart. All the sympathetic, fussing adults wearing sappy, sympathetic smiles, offering to drop of cassroles and sympathy cards. People who we hardly _knew,_ or liked. Like the desk clerk from the office where Mom worked. She hated Mom, and Mom hated her, but at least Mom was civil to her. Christine, the clerk, was a truely unpleasent women. She was rude to Mom, and treated her like dirt because we were poor. She always gave Darry, Soda, and I disaproving looks, and once she even gave Mom a lecture on "the dangers of raising hoods." However, now she was standing two inches away from my face, one of the most unconvincing looks of sorrow plastered on to her face.

"Oh, Pony, dear," she gushed, attracting the attention of half the church. "I am _so_ sorry about your parents, Margret was _such_ a dear. And your father was simply _wonderful_."

That did it. Anger was pulsing through my veins. I was about to lose it, to pummel her or cuse her out, but before I could utter a word, Soda came hurrying over.

"Hello there, Mrs. Christine," he said, wearing an equally unconvincing look of pleasure on his face. "_So_ nice to see you again, can I borrow Pony for a sec?" Without waiting for an answer, he dragged me to the front doors, where Darry was standing.

"Look," Soda said, "I know that she's horrible and doesn't really care or anything, but we gotta be polite. Can you imagine Mom's face if you cused her out?"

I gave him a half-smile and he ruffled my hair.

"Let's go, Little Buddy."

So we spent the rest of the time at the front doors, greeting people. I didn't know most of them, but there were most of the guys from Dad's, now Darry's, work. They were real good guys, and most of them actually seemed sorry. The gang was there, of course, and so was Mrs. Matthews and a couple of my teachers and school buddies. I was glad to see them, but I was worried. I hadn't cried since the morning after Mom and Dad died, but there was no way I was going to be able to hold it in now. It was going to be so embarassing! I just clenched my teeth and tried to act normal. Normal. What was that? I didn't even know how to feel normal anymore. Suddenly, the church bells started to chime. 10:30. It was time.

I sat in the first row, wedged between Darry and Soda. The gang and Mrs. Matthews were sitting behind us. I wished Johnny could have sat with me, but apparently it was traditional for immediate and_ only _immediate family to sit in the front row. The pastor started to talk. He was small, grey, and old with wispy, tufts of hair. He was well known throughout Tulsa for being one of the worst public speakers ever, but we couldn't afford any better. He started speaking in a dull, droning voice:

"Today, we gather here to celebrate the life of Margret and Darrel Curtis..."

He went on to describe how our parents were wonderful people and how they would be greatly missed. I could barely listen to him. He didn't even _know _our parents. How would he know if they were wonderful? And celebration of life? What the h***! I hate when people said things like that. They were dead! This was no celebration. My parents were dead... I thought of Mom, her gentle words and laughing eyes... Dad and his wisdom and strength... Tears were streaming down my cheeks. All this anger and worry had been transferred to grief and sadness. I didn't even attempt to stop crying. I just broke. I heard sobbing and looked around, startled, to see Soda crying as hard as I was. This just made me cry harder, and I clung to him, sobbing. He put his arms around me. They were shaking. Darry wasn't crying, but he looked young and helpless, his eyes pleading. He put his arms around us and we just sat there.

It was horrible. The man just went on and on. Finally, he stopped, and gave the opportunity for other people to speak. Mrs. Mathews went up and said a few words, then came and sat with us. So did the gang. I think we were beyond the whole traditional thing, we needed them. I gripped Johnny's hand as Dad's boss gave a speech. It was nice, but the words just felt empty, meaningless. No one but us and the gang _really _knew Mom and Dad. Finally, Darry went up to talk. I clung tighter to Soda.

"We really appriciate everyone coming today, and I think Mom and Dad would, too. They were some of the most incredible people I ever knew. My Mom would always say that everything happens for a reason, and I think it's true. I was accepted into Universety of Tulsa, with a football scholarship, but I'm not going. I'm staying to take care of Ponyboy and Sodapop. My friends say I'm crazy, but we're a family, we have to stick together, and I know that's what our parents would have wanted. This happened for a reason, and I'm not sure what that reason is at the moment, but we're going to find it. Thank you again, for all your support."

Darry's voice was calm. He looked calm, but if you looked closely, he was shaking. I didn't know how he did it, I was crying so hard that I could barely see, let alone talk.

It was time for the burial. The only people we had invited were the gang. This was something we had to do with them. My eyes were swollen and puffy, and my voice was so hoarse that I could hardly talk. That was okay, I didn't feel much like talking, anyway. We assembled around the caskets for one last time, and I did something that I hadn't had the heart to do yet- I looked in.

Mom and Dad looked peaceful and still. I had expected them to be all cut and bruised, but I guessed that they had fixed that all up. I couldn't stand to look at them. They looked so unaware, so empty. They had no idea that they were about to be buried under six feet of earth. I lost my courage and looked away. It was so real. Sobs started racking me again, started from deep within, eching out from me. That set Soda off again, then Johnny. Two-Bit didn't have a word to say for once. He was pale and trembling. Steve's eyes were shiny, but he didn't let the tears fall. Dally just looked empty, I think he was in denial. Darry was just tall and silent, as we touched the caskets one last time and lowered them into the cold, damp earth. I cried harder. I had to stop crying, it hurt, but I just couldn't. Soda tried to comforting me, but nothing helped. I felt so alone. Soon we were done. Mom and Dad were resting side by side. Darry put flowers on the graves, then hugged Soda and I. Then we just stood there, as thr wind whipped through the cemetery. It was silent, like Mom and Dad.

**Author's Note: Done! That one was by far thr hardest chapter to write, I had trouble capturing the grief. Again, sorry for wait, I had writer's block and no-reviewers disease! C'mon guys, hit the review button! It doesn't have to be long, it'll just take a minute... Thanks! Stay Gold! -Emily :) ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**SADLY, I DO NOT OWN THE OUTSIDERS! ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE AMAZING S. E. HINTON! OH, BTW, I JUST DID MY BOOK REPORT ON HER!**

**This story is officially dedicated to Bell Star for being very loyal to it, and being awesome!**

**Author's Note: Hey! Here's chapter 9! Also, I'm going to start two new stories soon. I can start whenever I want really, but I'm afraid that if I do, I won't update this 1, so I'm gonna wait awhile. One will be called: You Can't Run From Your Troubles. It'll be about the gang trying to cope with the loss of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis by going on a trip to California, but they can't run from their troubles. The next one will be: At the End of the Road. Pony is diagnosed with leukemia. Johnny and Dally are alive. Excited to start!**

**SkrilletFanatic: I know, it was hard to write, I was practically crying! Thanks for reviewing! ;)**

In Reality, Chapter 9: Nightmares and Normal

**DARRY'S POV**

I was in a peaceful sleep, which was now a rarity for me. It was the nighttime, after the funeral. I had finally fallen asleep after hours of tossing and turning. I kept replaying the funeral inside of my head. The tears, the grief... I hadn't cried. I had already had my breakdown, now I was just empty. Pony and Soda had taken it hard. They had sobbed throughout the funeral and burial, and it got worse when we went home. They didn't cry, but a heavy silence was weighing down the air. I couldn't believe that a was actually in charge now. We ended up just going to bed, so here I was finally sleeping peacefully.

A piercing, bloodcurdling, scream tore through the dark. I shot bolt upright in bed, heart pounding wildly. I had heard that scream before, only once in my life.

_Flashback for Darry, six years earlier._

_I was coming home from football practice. I was in a great mood, coach said I was the best on the team, and I had been so proud because I was one of the youngest. I walked on, feeling pretty good, when an ear-piercing scream spilt through the air. I stopped dead. Oh, my God. Pony! I was supposed to have walked him home, but being 13 and absent-minding, I had forgotten. If he was hurt, it was all my fault. My innocent baby brother... I went running toward the sound of his screams. I stopped, gasping, in the alley to see some of my football buddies, jeering as they kicked my innocent seven-year-old brother. He was curled up of the ground, gasping for air."Hey what are you doing? Ouch, quit it! Hey, stop it!" he whimpered again, due to a sharp kick in the ribs._

_"Hey, Greaser," one of them said. Paul! But he was my buddy... "How'd you like a haircut, Greaser?" Pony whimpered again. One flicked out a switchblade and held it to his throat. Pony panicked. He started screaming Soda and I's names, for the gang, for mom and dad. The switchblade was slid across his throat, and I saw red. How dare they mess with my brother? I had been petrified, but now I could move again. Outraged, I burst out from my hiding place._

_"What the h*** are you doing to my little brother, Paul?" I yelled. He turned around, startled._

_"Darry, this is your little brother? I had no idea, I mean he's a ho-"_

_I punched him. Hard. Square in the nose. He slammed backwards, startled. I took a swing at his buddy, Randy, too."C'mon guys, let's get out of here!" one yelled, and they ran off. I knelt on the ground, putting an arm around Pony. He was sobbing hysterically, burying his face into my shoulder. He was bruised and his neck was bleeding, but not too badly. It could have been worse. I had always blamed myself, for forgetting to walk him home, for being friends with Paul, for not stopping them sooner. And due to my guilt, I had sworn to protect him. *End Flashback*_

Heart pounding, I raced down the hall,terrified at what I was going to find. I was almost at Pony's door when a door down the hall flew open and Soda came barreling down the hall. We didn't even speak, just went faster to Pony's room. He was tossing and turning frantically, sweating, shaking, and screaming and crying violently. I heard nearly inaudible shouts of "Mom, Dad, no!" It broke my heart.

"What's wrong with him?" Soda screamed,terrified.

"I think he's having a nightmare." It was the most reasonable explanation I could think of. He had had nightmares before when he was little, but never like this. I cautiously shook his shoulder. "Pony! Pony, wake up!" He jerked awake. He was sweating and shaking and crying, nearly in hysterics.

"Hey," Soda said gently, sliding in next to him and hugging him. "It's okay. It was just a dream, little buddy, it's gonna be fine."

"Do you remember what the dream was about, Pone?" I asked.

"N-no!" He stammered. Soda and I exchanged glances. _He _may not know what he was dreaming about, but we did. Mom and Dad... I tousled his hair and leaned against the wall. "You okay now, Pone?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

But he wasn't. None of us were.

**PONY'S POV**

_I was terrified. The white light light was drawing nearer, and my parents were screaming. They were scared, they didn't want to leave us. The white light collided with our run-down truck, thesounds of metal crumbling and crunching, glass flying. The blood was smeared on the seats of the car. My parents were screaming, trapped under the debris, as death came swooping down to claim them for his kingdom. And my screams were their screams, my pain was their pain, their fear was my fear... I was completely terrified. Wait... WhO was screaming?_

"Pony! Pony, wake up!"

_No, no! What was going on? What did I dream about? The terror is so vivid, but I can't remember. I can't stop crying. In scared, they need my help, but who does? Why can't I remember?_

"Hey." Soda slid in next to me, putting his arms around me, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"It was just a dream, little buddy, it's going be fine."

_That's right, it was just a dream, I don't need to help anyone. Everything's fine. _No, it's not. My parents are dead, how could I have forgotten?

"Do you remember what you dreamed about, Pone?"

"N-no!" But did I remember? Or was I trying to block the memories?

"You okay now, Pony?"

_No, I'm not. Im scared. I need help. I don't know what to do._

_"_Yeah, I'm fine." I wasn't really. I just wanted things to go back to normal.

**SODA'S POV**

Things wern't normal. But, oh God, I wish they were. I don't know what to make out of this. We've worked out a routine. But it just feels weird, like we're not living it, like this is just a rehearsal, until they come back. I'm having trouble accepting that they're not coming back. It's just unreal. But I put on my happy face. I flirt with girls, I crack jokes, I grin, I act happy-go-lucky. But I'm not. But, oh God, I want to be.

**PONY'S POV**

Normal. What is normal? Normal is when the showers of sympathy cards stop. Normal is when we run out of frozen lasagnas and casseroles stored in the freezer, dropped off on our doorstep by nosy women, asking what they can do. They can't do _anything._ They can't give us money or bring my parents back. And let me tell you, giving us food does not help us a bit. If anything, it's an incontinence. Fat greasers can't do much. We didn't have to worry about that, though, I rarely at. I just didn't feel like it. And I was so sick of people saying, "So, it's nice to be getting back to normal, isn't it?" what is normal about a 13-year old without parents? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm just sick of everything. I just want my parents.

But, I don't get them. So I go back to "normal." I force myself to go to school. I force myself to ignore the mutters and the stares. I walk with Johnny. I talk to him, and it helps. I watch a movie. I wrestle Two-Bit. I live. But, I don't. Because they come back at night. The terror. The pain. The fear. And every night, I feel guilt for worrying my brothers. I just live in fear of that white light. Its the only thing I remember.

**DARRY'S POV**

We're healing. Slowly, it happens. Everyone changes, but especially me. I carry a heavy weight with me all the time, a fear of the world. Of facing the world that was cruel enough to break up my family like this. Of a world that makes us suffer. Of a world that took what should have been the best time of my life away from me. I was struggling with this the most. I felt guilty for even thinking like this, of wondering where I would be if it wern't for my brothers. But I can't think like this. I'm Superman, and I'm going to find out the purpose of this with my brothers. Together.

**Author's Note: Done! Today was my last day of school, and even though I'll miss everyone, I'm glad to be free! I have my dance recitle throughout the next couple of days, then it's of to Texas for a week. Then I have dance camp, three weeks, eight hours a day. Exciting! I'll update as soon as I can! Have a fun summer guys, stay safe!**

**Your hand is moving toward the review button, you can't stop it.., haha review! Thanks, Stay Gold! -Emily ;) :)**


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